There are certain differences between the boy you date and the man you marry. Every time a boy asks out a girl to a movie date or a certain eating joint, most of the girls go crazy thinking about the future. They go ecstatic thinking about what to wear, say and do; so that the guy fall in love with them. An hour into the date and she has already planned the future with you. She has already thought of the kind of place you will live together in, the color of the drapes, the name of the dog and of course the number of children and their names. Jane Austen once rightly said:
“A lady’s imagination is very rapid; it jumps from admiration to love, from love to matrimony in a moment.”
However, this beautiful dream is shattered when the guy turns out to be what they call a “bad boy.” These experiences should be enough for them to realize if they are dating a ‘Boy’ or a ‘Man’.
The 5 differences between the boy you date and the man you marry are:
1. Relationship is a two way street:
The boy you date evaluates what you have to offer him. The only reason he is with you is because he gets all the attention and time in the relationship. He thinks you have a few common interests like Green Day or playing the guitar, which make you and him compatible. He puts himself before you every time.
The man you marry will treat you equally in a relationship. He often wonders if he is good enough for you. The reason he loves you is because of who you are. He loves you for your flaws, your little quirks and that weird sense of humor. He doesn’t find you snorting while laughing weird, but actually thinks it to be cute. He feels lucky to have you in his life and makes sure you know that. He wants and hopes to be the best husband in the world.
2. Beauty is in the eyes on the beholder:
The boy you date makes you feel the need you to wear make-up. You think you need to look beautiful to win his affection. Only then he will find you attractive enough to kiss you and make you feel wanted.
The man you marry makes you feel comfortable the way you are. You are never self-conscious when he is around. He finds you beautiful whenever he looks at you and actually doesn’t like it when you put on make-up. He loves you for your mind and heart and every time he kisses you, you get a high.
3. Guess this is what they call true love:
The boy you date is with you because you two have fun and hardly discuss your personal life and problems.
The man you marry and you have fun too. However, with him you laugh, cry, love, fight all your life. You love him, but that is not the only reason you want to spend your life with him. You want to be with him because he knows how to calm you when you are angry or depressed. He knows you inside out and doesn’t mind sacrificing anything to be with you or to make your relationship work. He is enduring, faithful, patient, humble and most importantly, he is selfless.
4. Maturity versus immaturity:
The boy you date is insecure and jealous when you are with other guys. He fights with over petty things and is very possessive all the time. Although it is cute sometimes, it becomes too annoying to handle.
The man you marry trusts you and understands your viewpoint, or at least tries to, and gives you the benefit of doubt. He is open to face problems and talk things out instead of sweeping them under a rug. If you are lucky, you might have married a guy who is patient with you at times even when you don’t deserve it.
5. The mysterious guy has a thing for me? No thanks!
The boy you date acts all mysterious which you’ll find desirable initially. You try really hard to be esoteric in order to keep him interested in you. However, slowly the magic wears off and you keep thinking that a day will come when you will be bored of each other and your relationship will end.
The man you marry is like the back of your hand. You know everything about him and you feel comfortable being yourself around him. You don’t hesitate to share your deepest secrets with him. Even when you two are bored, you find happiness in each other’s company.
All things said, you must understand that people have the capability to change. You can’t force this change, but you can give some time to the boy to prove himself. If you still don’t see any of these traits emerging in the guy, it’s time to move on.
Always make sure that the guy you choose is a mature and understanding ‘Man’ and not an insecure and obnoxious ‘boy’.